Life in the Fast Lane
by whats-shakin-bacon
Summary: her mind is clouded with different things and she's not the same person everyone knew. she's locked in a world she never wanted to be in, in the first place... lit
1. Highway to Hell

DISCLAIMER: don't own any one, yet. Maybe.  
  
A/N: this is just an experiment. if things go well, I'll continue.  
  
The first time is like taking drugs, I never did them, but my friends can testify to that. You spiral downwards onto a lowly path where only the fools land. How do I know? -I'm there. In the darkness of a valley is a rock bottom platform that I solemnly vowed to myself never to sink so low to. but I did. and now here I am. My life wont ever be the same, because that's what drinking does to a person.  
  
It started a little after college. Nothing was making sense. It was either that or I didn't want it to. I stopped contacting with my mom and Stars Hollow when I 'fell'. No one knew the new or me. I changed my name, my appearance, hopes, dreams. my life.  
  
I live alone, and in a way, I stand alone. You don't wanna know me, you don't wanna see me, you don't wanna be me! I gave everything away. -I gave up. I blew it, I messed up any chance I had for a good life. I go out every night, meet new people, do different things; it's a party life.  
  
So in a sense, I'm on the 'Highway to Hell'.  
  
REVIEW! I DON'T EXACTLY KNOW WHERE I'M GOING WITH THIS SO GIMME SOME IDEAS! PLEASE AND THANK YOU! 


	2. 20 Dollars, the Material Girl, and the C...

DISCLAIMER: I OWN MANY PEOPLE! AHEM AHEM, MS. SANDERS, MR. DIYANNI, MS. MCKEE, MARCY DIPP AND MR. BAILEY. THERE PROBABLY WILL BE MORE IN THE NEXT CHAPTERS. DESCRIPTIONS ARE THERE.  
  
A/N: JESS WILL COME SOON!!  
  
The sun has decided to rise now and it is then that I must pull myself out of y bed and drag my sorry butt to work. I work for a magazine. I write about anything and everything. It's not what I wanted to do, but for now it's a beautiful life. Sitting up in bed, the damn light seeps through my blinds; thus, hurting my eyes.  
  
'I gotta get out of here!' I say to myself.  
  
My head hurts; I wonder what happened last night. I shower quickly and get dressed. My apartment is small and cluttered with unnecessary things. I grab my bag and shove my keys in it. My routine is pointless, especially where I put the keys in my purse; I'm just going to take them out for my car anyways.  
  
I walk out of my apartment and I hope I don't see -GOD! Every morning, Ms. Sanders wanders down the halls looking for anything from pennies to umbrellas. Just last night before sleeping -I remember, since I came home last night from a party- Ms. Sanders found 20 dollars outside Mr. DiYanni's house. The two were complaining about whose it belonged to.  
  
"Janey!" calls the widowed Ms. McKee sticking her head out of her apartment.  
  
"Yes Ms. McKee?" I say after pausing to turn around and face the overly cheery woman.  
  
"You wouldn't happen to have seen 20 dollars on the ground last night commin' home have you?" she was from Jersey; she had that all- knowing accent.  
  
"Actually Mrs. McKee, I had. Here." I said, handing her the 20 dollars she would never see from either Ms. Sanders of Mr. DiYanni.  
  
"You're such -a doll! Bless you!" she replied, while opening her coin purse to retrieve a quarter out. Placing it in my hand, I half smile and say,  
  
"Thank you?"  
  
"No problem!" she said, waving it away.  
  
I smile again and walk away. But before taking the elevator, I call over my shoulder to Ms. McKee,  
  
"Now you have a nice day Ms. McKee!"  
  
"You too, you sweetheart!" with that, she heads inside.  
  
The halls are quiet except -oh no! Ms. Sander!  
  
"Janey! How nice ta see you this mawning!"  
  
I always saw Ms. Sanders as a 'New York Baby' -one who has lived here all their life.  
  
"As always Ms. Sanders, you gracious company is always delighted while waiting for the elevator!" I say.  
  
Three words: LOAD OF CRAP!  
  
"Aw Janey, you flatta me too much!"  
  
I only squint my eyes and smile as if I had eaten a sour skittle -and believe me, those are sour! I don't care what anybody says about that, don't let them tell you different, the sour skittles are in fact, excruciatingly sour, hence 'sour skittles'.  
  
'Where the hell is the elevator?' I say in my head.  
  
"Oh sweetie, you aren't waiting for the elevator are you?" says Ms. Sanders.  
  
I pucker my lips and respond with, "As a matter of fact, I am, Ms. Sanders."  
  
"Honey, those things are out of order! You hafta take the stairs!"  
  
THUD. THUD. THUD. What's that, you may ask? Well young grasshopper, that is the sound of me losing my sanity or just me hitting my head on the wall.  
  
Clearing my throat, I say, "Thank you, I suppose I'll see you in the afternoon in the halls!"  
  
"Sucha smart girl!"  
  
I smile my plastic -fake smile and burst open the escape door to a long and smelly stairwell. Taking in the last clean breath of air, I zoom in and down the stairs. 6 floors later, I make it outside. I've decided I need breakfast and a coffee. I stop at the nearest Starbucks and step humbly inside. I stare longingly at the cookies and breads and sliced cake in different varieties through the transparent glass.  
  
Greedily my hand touches the glass, longing -lusting for something sweet. Looking down the rows I quietly say to myself, choosing cake or bread, "Crap, crap, crap, not so bad." I walk to the cash register and ask for a caramel frapacino and a carrot cake.  
  
As I stand there in front of the cash register on the opposite side of the cashier, I see that she too has a fake smile. Her smile, however, has absolutely no effect on me. I practice the art of the 3 main status quos: being fake, lying, and my specialty (pause for a dramatic effect) being deceitful. I haven't quite met anyone who has mastered all three, in the short amount of a year. I suppose I deserve an award.  
  
Finally, I receive my order and haughtily exit the quaint Starbucks; completely opposite the way I came in. Walking down the sidewalk to my car, I slip in and place my cup of milky coffee in the holder and everything else, on the passenger's seat.  
  
10 minutes later, I pull my car into a parking spot, grab everything I need, and get out of the car. Making sure it's locked I look back and check then turn to face the garage manager. I wave hello. Once in front of the elevator, I wait impatiently as the pink light above goes from 'G' for garage -for all the illiterate people who didn't know that, to the number 21, signaling my stop. I step out of the elevator and quickly pass Marcy Dipp's office, but no, I am too slow and she catches me.  
  
"Jaanneey!" she calls my name in a terrible sing -song voice. She's just a coworker, no one important. She's the one that takes me out at night to 'loosen up'. She's just Marcy Dipp.  
  
"Hey Marcy!." I say quite hesitantly.  
  
"Tonight the 'Tropicana' opens up!"  
  
She's too excited. Beep! Beep! Beep! Sound the alarms!! Marcy Dipp is reelin' you in! JUST SAY NO!  
  
PAUSE!  
  
- Okay, first, the Tropicana is a nightclub that just opened. There are supposedly 'famous people' going there tonight.  
  
PLAY!  
  
"No!" I say all too fast.  
  
"Hey, hey now!" says Marcy and I internally groan.  
  
"Mr. Bailey (the boss) says it's your next assignment and I was to tell you.!" she continued.  
  
'Noooooooooo!!!'  
  
"Fine." I whisper to her.  
  
"Yes!" she hisses, in a victorious kind of way. "So I'll pick you up at 6:30."  
  
I just nod, but before walking away, I spot the diamond earrings out dear friend Marcy Dipp wears.  
  
"Are those new?" I ask.  
  
"Hey! We are living in a material world -and I, my fancy friend, am a material girl!"  
  
I roll my eyes; I cannot believe she quoted Madonna!  
  
"You never cease to amaze me, Marcy!"  
  
"Well I try." and with that we both part to our respectable offices.  
  
'Material Girl, HA!'  
  
Catchphrase of the day: LOAD OF CRAP!  
  
REVIEW! PLEASE!! I WORKED HARD AND THE BEST WAY TO LET ME KNOW IF I DID A CRUDY JOB IS TO REVIEW! PLEASE AND THANK YOU! 


	3. Hopefully Eventful

Disclaimer: I own Marcy Dipp.  
  
A/N: took awhile, but here it is.  
  
It's sad to say that the day did not go by as fast as expected. Mr. Bailey had called me to his office, just as I was about to leave! -Nice timing Mr. Bailey, you old, mean-  
  
"Good afternoon Mr. Bailey, you wanted to see me?"  
  
A little bird whispered, 'fake, fake, fake' in my ear and I smile.  
  
"Yes, yes of course Ms. Armstrong."  
  
PAUSE!  
  
-Okay so now you know my full name -er at least first and last. Janey Armstrong. yes that was the best I could think of, so now let's hit the play button back to reality, shall we?  
  
PLAY!  
  
"Ahmm, as I was saying, I want you to do a full report on the 'Tropicana'. it's opening night so dress to impress! I want to see your notes tomorrow, your first draft the day after, ahmm, and the final copy on Friday."  
  
"Yes Mr. Bailey."  
  
"Okay, now you may go."  
  
Now where was I?  
  
Oh Yes. Mr. Bailey, you old, mean -  
  
"Don't forget, 6:30!" says Marcy Dipp, walking into the ladies room.  
  
"I wont!" I say, smiling plainly and walking into the elevator.  
  
I take in a deep breath as the elevator takes me to the garage.  
  
When I finally arrive home, I drop everything on the table by the door.  
  
'What a day!' I say to myself.  
  
I sigh as I go to the bathroom to take a nice, long, warm shower. When I come out, a steam of peachy scented mist swims carelessly through the air. With a towel tied tightly around me, I walk to my closet.  
  
'Dress to impress!' says Mr. Bailey's voice- I shudder at that.  
  
Hmm. this looks nice. It's elegant looking and simple.  
  
I pull out the little black dress I wore to a girl named Andriana Markey's party. Ha, good times! Good times.  
  
Andriana and I still keep in touch and occasionally accompany each other to parties. Model, of course, go to do whatever the hell she wanted- she was Andriana Markey for cryin' out loud!  
  
I pull out a pair of BEBE shoes with little diamond studs, spelling out BEBE on them.  
  
If you think for one second that I can afford this kind of crap, you're seriously mistaken. This is all from the magazine company; it's for those 'dress to impress' moments.  
  
It is kind of cool though. I get to dress up and go to nightclubs, walk down the red carpet, meet new people. It's a glamorous life.  
  
When I finish getting dressed, it was 6:30 and our dear friend Marcy Dipp had arrived.  
  
Calling me from outside my apartment door, I rush with my things and I slyly come out of my house.  
  
"Okay," I say, ready to go, but no; Marcy has decided to look over my selection for the evening.  
  
"Isn't that the little black dress you wore to Andriana Markey's last party?"  
  
"Yes," I say pushing past her to see if she'll see where exactly I'm heading.  
  
"I see!" says Marcy, emphatically hitting every letter in her sentence to prove a non-existent point. It is at this statement that I roll my eyes.  
  
"Is it a problem?" I ask, in no way am I giving attitude. None whatsoever.  
  
"Well, it's just that"-  
  
"Thank you Marcy!" I say, interrupting her irrelevant speech about how a REAL lady would never wear the exact same thing to a party where the person who threw the last party you went to, will be there.  
  
I tune her out; this is quite boring to me. Part of my wishes that I was at the party now, just so that I can lose her there and when it ends, run up to her and ask, 'where did you go? I was looking everywhere for you!'  
  
She finally finishes her dull speech and speculates me with curiosity spilling like a 2 year old past her lips.  
  
I smile politely as if I'd considered her speech worthy of my attention and walk towards that smelly staircase.  
  
"Janey!!" Marcy calls to me.  
  
Just because she screamed my name for China to hear, doesn't mean that I'm going to turn around. Especially since I took that deep breath before rushing down the stairs, so I didn't have to inhale that toxic limp air. I wouldn't even turn around just to see if she called my name for a relevant reason.  
  
Gasping for the somewhat cleaner air outside of the hell- hole, I clench my stomach. It is rather cold outside, since the little black dress is a tube top part. It flatters my upper figure and complements my lower half; what with its blooming skirt, that is.  
  
The fire escape door breaks open and little ol' Marcy spills out. Before she yells at me she huffed in several more breaths than I did and relies on a coin meter for a parked car. I stand there with my arms crossed, waiting for dearest Marcy to talk.  
  
"You. (Breath) go back (breath) up there (breath) and change (deep breath) NOW!"  
  
"No," I say, simply.  
  
"YES! (Deep breath)"  
  
"No! Now if you don't hurry up we're gonna be late, and we can't have that now can we?"  
  
"(Breath) no. Mr. Bailey would not like that"  
  
"Of course he wouldn't. Now, let's go!" I say.  
  
"Fine!" she says, exasperated.  
  
Walking not so far from my apartment, I see a moderately query sight. Of course! Marcy just had to get a limo!  
  
Before I could say anything, she answered my thoughts, "It is expected that while going to an opening, you arrive in a limousine!"  
  
She slides into the stretched car and motions violently for me to come in.  
  
We get there in no time and I am first to step out of the limousine. Too many damn cameras are flashing in my face. I smile politely and wave. I bet they don't even know who I am.  
  
"Janey! Janey Armstrong!" calls a man with a camera from the crowd, I walk over to him, smile and say,  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Are you doing an article for 'Desiree' magazine?" that's the name of the magazine company I work for.  
  
"Yes, yes I am."  
  
"So we have something to look forward to in the next issue about the 'Tropicana'?"  
  
"Hopefully!" I say and continue walking.  
  
'Maybe they do know me...' I say to myself.  
  
Suddenly like a roar of excitement, the crowd goes crazy for another pulled up limousine.  
  
'Traitors!' I think to myself.  
  
Again! The cameras flash with stimulation- exhilaration! Such thrill and pumped adrenaline flowing ever so inconspicuously upon the disordered crowd.  
  
By the time the cameras flash with elation I am no longer being blazed blindly by cameras; I am inside.  
  
Yes, hopefully tonight will be eventful.  
  
Hopefully something new will come.  
  
OOKAY!! PLEASE REVIEW OR TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK! I WORKED HARD SO AT LEAST REVIEW! UMM, JESS WILL COME IN THE NEXT CHAPTER. SO READ NEXT TIME. PLEASE AND THANK YOU 


	4. Redemption is Too Far Away

Disclaimer: I own Marcy.  
  
I feel so famous, even though I'm not. The rush of the paparazzi has queued it's incessant self inside the nightclub. I pretend I don't hear it and walk immediately to the bar counter. Calling to the bartender, someone has come behind me and I mistake him or her for Marcy.  
  
"I didn't think you drink." Says the person standing to the left of me, now.  
  
I don't pay attention to this rude person nor do I answer. The voice, however, is achingly familiar. Once many moons ago, when life seemed so simple and so secure. It's funny how you can look back on memories like that and feel exactly the same way you did then, as you do now. It's like a compatibility of feelings compressed into a microscopic folder that, in your mind, you can open at any time, anywhere, whenever you want; and no one will or can judge you for that.  
  
I wait patiently, despite my growing agitation to the person on the left of me, for my Smirnoff on the rocks, heavy loaded.  
  
"Huh." Was all HE said.  
  
Okay, that was all too familiar. I peek to the left of me, peek, not look and see nothing. I try to make it not as obvious but my frivolous or thoughtless attempts are quite palpable and it is clear that I am making a complete fool of myself.  
  
I walk away from the counter and to a gathering of people, trying to lose myself.  
  
"Hey! Where did you go? I was looking everywhere for you!" hey! Marcy stole my lines! I was suppose to say that to her when I lost HER, not the other way around!!  
  
I turn around to face the annoying woman I am forced to 'enjoy' this party time with. Looking over her shoulder, I can see the last thing I had expected to see. Gasping for air, everything around me looks weary. I feel numb and clutch onto the nearest thing, that being Marcy.  
  
"Omigosh, Laney, are you okay?!" she calls, her voice echoing in the vicinity of the nightclub.  
  
My head tilts and turns and my vision swirls and swoops and my arms sag because now I am completely numb. The drink has wholly fallen entirely out of my grasp and I collapse into Marcy; this makes me upset, I only had like 3 sips of the damn thing. I can no longer see anything and now my head hurts.  
  
I can, however, hear the things going around me. I hear people rushing around and Marcy calling for help. I hear his voice and I want to cry, but can feel absolutely nothing, not even emotion. My heart aches as I feel I am being carried into a room wear I feel like I'm lying down.  
  
No sooner do I hear sirens blaring annoyingly close by. Again I am being carried away into another place. I hear Marcy again, saying that everything will be fine. If there is even hope left for me, let it be known. I feel like Pandora when I opened a box of something I knew I shouldn't have, the box being the drink and the sight of him.  
  
I shortly wake to the scent of hospital air. There is a beaming light overhead me and it makes my eyesight weak. I stir softly in the uncomfortable bed and am suddenly aided by Marcy. Sitting up, I see that I am not in a hospital room and the air I am breathing is not hospital air, just a mask for oxygen.  
  
Confused, I look over at Marcy, "What happen?" I breathed into the mask.  
  
"You just fainted. I don't exactly know what happened."  
  
By the looks of it, I think I am in a back room of the nightclub and the paramedics stand by and monitor my momentary loss of consciousness.  
  
I pull the mask off and return it to the paramedics to the left of me. I stretch and stand timidly as Marcy rushes to my side.  
  
I wave her away and make it outside. On stage is, supposedly, the owner of the club just talking. The group of people are gathered closely around the stage and listen intently. I wonder how much I missed out on interviews. I slap myself mentally for that. I look in the crowd for him and cannot find him, so I seat myself at the counter of the bar.  
  
"I don't think you should have anything to drink." Says the familiar voice. Knowing it is him I don't turn around.  
  
"I don't give a rat's ass about what you think I should or shouldn't do about my drinking habits."  
  
"Ouch. I knew it was coming sometime."  
  
"Well, better late than never."  
  
"Geez, what is this?!"  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry, this is all the bottled up anger, all the problems I've faced then and now, because of you!"  
  
"Man!" the person breaths.  
  
"How dare you! You have no right to put me through this!"  
  
"No, I don't! But you do it to yourself!" and with that, he walks away, again; out of my life.  
  
Clearing my throat I say to the bartender in a low voice, "Smirnoff, on the rocks, please."  
  
He willingly passes the drink to me and I gulp it down, with every painful and sorrowful moment I recall of him.  
  
Redemption is too far away to help me now.  
  
PLEASE REVIEW!! HE'S FRIGGIN HERE SO REVIEW PLEASE!! HE'LL BE BACK, SO DON'T HAVE A COW! PLEASE AND THANK YOU! 


	5. So I Wait

Disclaimer: I own Marcy. and I am happy.  
  
Okay, so I got my stinkin' interviews, and I got my stinkin' article done, and I even brought my notes on time, but I just wasn't feeling too good. Maybe it was from all the Smirnoff I had last night, or maybe it was just the sight of him.  
  
I'm already set to go for work, but I don't wanna go. I don't wanna make small talk with Marcy or see the people I most certainly despise. I wanna stay home and sleep all day, especially with this killer headache I have. It feels like someone's banging a steel pan against my head and all I'm doing is just standing there, taking it in.  
  
My thoughts lead back to last night and of him. Part of me misses him, but the other part totally feels a great detestation- such an intense dislike, towards him. Then I think, and I wonder, why was he at the Tropicana last night? Maybe he was there for the shear sensation of enjoyment; something I had lost the feel to.  
  
At last, I make it to my office, a place of which I earned to have. Its spacious beauty makes me feel small and I collapse on the tiny but comfy chair. Sighing deeply I place my hands in my stomach and calm my racing thoughts and for a second, my headache stops, I forget what happened last night, everything feels like it's at ease and I breath it in.  
  
All of a sudden the door swings open, but my eyes remain close. And who do you suspect the inconsiderate fool was that had opened my door, without knocking might I add? It was but Marcy Dipp.  
  
Racing over to me, she shouts for everyone to hear, "Are you okay?? How are you, ya know, based on last nights events."  
  
Taking in the last peaceful sigh I had left in me, I sit up in the chair and turn my head to face her. The only thing I say is, "I'm fine." And I wave her away with my hands.  
  
"Are you sure cause I can"-  
  
"No- no," I say, a little too fast, "you don't have to do ANYTHING, you just go back to work." Shooing her away, she finally gets my hand gestures and does what she's told.  
  
Obligingly I get off the cozy chair and I finally take the time to actually do some extra work.  
  
When it's about lunchtime I get up and grab my keys. Walking around the tall building I cross the street, more like jay walk but who really cares, to a small restaurant- looking diner. I yawn and step into the establishment. I seat myself by the window and watch all the passersby and think about how much better their lives are than mine.  
  
A waitress comes to take my order and I tell her in my quiet voice, "Coffee and a cheeseburger."  
  
She nods politely and walks away.  
  
"It's nice to see that you're still a coffee junkie." Says the man sitting in the booth behind me.  
  
Turning around I see none other than HIM, whose name I refuse to speak of - even if it's in my head.  
  
"Hmf," is the only thing that derides out of me.  
  
He shakes his head disapprovingly and I say, "Well it's nice to know you're still a jackass."  
  
It is now his turn to show such derision towards me and I only roll my eyes and turn to wait patiently for my coffee and cheeseburger.  
  
Thinking he's the king of the world, he stands up and slips into the other side of the both I'm in.  
  
In a voice so slow and yet so forceful, I say, "Who the hell do you think you are?!"  
  
Clearing his throat, he responds with, "Well, it's sad to hear that you don't know who I am."  
  
At this 'proclamation' of mockery, I roll my eyes yet again.  
  
"But if you must," he continues, "(clearing his throat) I am Jes"-  
  
"I KNOW WHO ARE!" I say, cutting him off from saying his name.  
  
"Then why bother to ask?"  
  
"Never mind!" I shout, flailing my arms around to prove a not so obvious point to this man.  
  
Opening up a book he had kept in his back pocket, he begins to read. My mouth hangs open in such shock and anger that I snatch the book from his grasp and yell, "Why are you here? Leave me alone!"  
  
Taking back the book, he simply says, "Because and no." and resumes to his reading.  
  
I sit there and stare closely at him, noting the 5 o' clock shadow he has adopted, the clothes he's wearing and even the way he sits.  
  
I know he can feel my eyes on him and it is now his turn to become irritated.  
  
"Why are you staring at me?"  
  
Cupping my chin with my hand and leaning lightly over the table, I squint my eyes and mumble, "I hate you."  
  
"Well, that was quite expected of you."  
  
"I hate you a lot."  
  
"Well"-  
  
"So much," I say, interrupting his fervent way to rekindle whatever teenage conversations we had, way back then, "that I can't help but throw invisible fire darts at your head."  
  
I squint my eyes again and he says, "Was that one of them?"  
  
He leans forward and I sit perfectly still, squinting my eyes as if to squeeze out such unbearable anger that is so unknown to man that it has made history, well, not really.  
  
"Ahuh!" he says, as if he had found the answer to world hunger.  
  
But he doesn't do anything. He just sits back in his seat and reads.  
  
I look at his hair. It's comb down differently. Completely opposite from the way he had it when we were- I'd rather not say. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!  
  
I can find no reason for why he is here. When he feels irritated again, by my icy stare, he sighs heavily and says, "Do you wanna talk?"  
  
All I respond with is, "I hate you."  
  
He nods again and sits back, but this time just stares creepily back at me. I can no longer take it so I turn to face the people passing the diner. When the waitress comes back, she serves me my coffee and my cheeseburger. I smile courteously at her and she walks away.  
  
Taking the cheeseburger into my own, I inhale its meaty goodness and was about to take a bite, when he no longer watched just me, but me eating.  
  
"Don't watch me eat!"  
  
He says nothing and just stares. I can read right through him because his stare is blank and carries no meaning.  
  
"Stop! Please!"  
  
After hearing my voice, his stare cracks away and he looks outside. I eat the burger as fast as I can and when I finish I wipe my mouth and quietly say, "Thank you," so as not to give him too much satisfaction.  
  
He doesn't say anything and this disturbs me. I shift softly in my seat and grab my coffee. I breathe in its contents and smile to myself.  
  
"I'm sorry." He quietly says.  
  
And suddenly, it feels like the world has come to a stop. People around me have closed their mouths and covered their eyes, but peeked every so often to see the dramatic scene. My mind slows down and I don't hear anything so I shake myself out of my trance.  
  
He continues, "I'm sorry I left without saying goodbye or even giving you a reason."  
  
I sit quietly, taking it all in. As if my life is a show, it feels like the camera zooms out of my eyes, out of his, out of the diner and steals a look through the diner window.  
  
I don't know if I'll be fine again and with that in consideration, I walk the bittersweet mile long road. I climb the rocky mountain and I fly across the sky, so to speak, but I don't feel like I'll be fine again, so I wait.  
  
AHHHH! OOKAY! I UPDATED AND NOW, IN RETURN, I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS THINK ABOUT THIS CHAPTER. I HOPED YOU LIKED IT. REVIEW!! PLEASE AND THANK YOU!!!! 


	6. And the Wait Was Worth it

A/N: OOKAY, I'M SORRY IF THIS CHAPTER WAS EMAILED TWICE FOR SOME PEOPLE, I HAD SOMETHING I NEEDED TO CHANGE. SOOOOO SOOOO SORRY!  
  
Disclaimer: I own Marcy.  
  
I've forgot, what it feels like to feel normal, to be normal. And as I recall, that's the first line to the Rooney song "I'm Shakin". But seriously, I have absolutely forgotten what it feels like to feel normal. Was I ever normal? No I don't think so, what with all the coffee I drunk when I was younger. Snapping back to reality, Jess is still sitting in front of me, with pleading eyes. Oh his eyes, many a wondrous feelings just looking at them. Tears fall down my cheek; the taste is something new. The bitter tingle of painful memories, and of home, reawaken things I had forgotten.  
  
His face becomes softer as I break down into a fiery blast of shock. He gets up from the other side of the booth to my side. He hugs me to his left and I feel so secure, something I hadn't felt in a long time. I pull away and look up at him. I calm myself down to a medium as I wipe the remainder tears away. He pulls my hand away from my face and he himself washes the bittersweet pain clean.  
  
"I don't want to hurt you anymore," he says as he cups my chin.  
  
"Well, good. I don't want you to hurt me anymore either."  
  
He half smiles and I lean my head against him. I feel so comfortable, so relaxed and at ease. It seems quiet for too long of a time and I look up at him. He smiles as he shifts slightly. I sit up straight and stretch.  
  
Turning to him I say, "I want to be with you, but I want to take it slowly."  
  
He nods and responds with, "Sounds good to me."  
  
"Great, well I should be getting back to work now."  
  
"Yea, me too."  
  
"Here," I say jotting down my phone number, "Call me sometime, we could hang out or whatever."  
  
"I'd like that," he says, smiling.  
  
"Okay, well cya." And we both walk away.  
  
Now as I walk down the street, I take in a deep breath and no longer feel like I'm suffocating. This air I breathe no longer smells toxic.  
  
I feel a pinch of happiness and that's enough to last me a long time. As I walk into my office, Marcy notices the smile I have on my face. I sigh inwardly as she trails behind me, in hopes of finding some good in my life.  
  
"You look happy, spill!"  
  
"There's nothing to spill," I say as I take a seat at my desk and Ms. Nosey Marcy sits on MY comfy chair.  
  
"Oh come on! It's so plain to see that you're happy."  
  
I just shrug it off and start typing.  
  
"Fine! You don't have to fill me in." and she walks away.  
  
Wow, that is one time where I didn't have to tell her to leave. I didn't even hint for her to go away, she just sort of did it on her own!  
  
When work is over, I finally get the chance to go home.  
  
The first thing I usually do when I get home, is pull out a bottle of scotch, it eases whatever stress I went through that day. However, I don't need it. As much as I went through so much pain today, I endured much happiness and because of this I overcome my need for alcohol.  
  
I put my keys on the ceramic monkey that my mom gave me when I went off to college. I studied it, in all it's glory, shall I say. It held a banana in its mouth and its tail was curved so that your keys could slip on it.  
  
I miss her. I never thought I could, but I do. I miss her so much that it was worse than the time I went off to Washington with Paris for school. Worse than the time I went off to college. It hurts not to see her.  
  
Maybe that cup of scotch won't do me any harm.  
  
'No!' I inwardly protest, 'I refuse to debunk my happiness over a bottle of scotch and some sadden memories.'  
  
I grab a book off my bookcase and read. I didn't know what I had grabbed until I read the first line.  
  
'I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked.'  
  
I should've known what it was, what with its size and all. It was Howl, by Allen Ginsberg. I laugh as I remember what dear Jess Mariano did to this book.  
  
*Flashback*  
  
(A/N: this one is quite overused, but I like it! So sue me if I use it! - Actually don't, I have no money and I have also decided to add my thoughts as their thoughts.)  
  
"Okay, then I'll leave you this last little trick." Jess hands me a book, Howl.  
  
"You bought a copy? I told you I'd lend you mine."  
  
"It is yours." He says, after she takes it.  
  
"You stole my book." He would have laughed if he hadn't seen how serious I looked.  
  
Nonchalantly, he responded with,"Nope, borrowed it."  
  
"Okay, that's not called a trick, that's called a felony."  
  
" I just wanted to put some notes in the margins for you."  
  
"What?" looking through the book, scribbled everywhere, on almost every page are his thoughts, just everything. "You've read this before."  
  
"About forty times."  
  
Incredulously I say, "I thought you said you didn't read much."  
  
"Well, what is much? Goodnight Rory." He says, walking away.  
  
Doing the same, I call over my shoulder and shout, "Goodnight Dodger."  
  
"Dodger?" he asks, pausing to hear my answer.  
  
"Figure it out." I say, never stopping.  
  
"Oliver Twist." He says triumphantly.  
  
I smile and nod and we both walk away.  
  
*End Flashback*  
  
Smiling slightly, I put the book on my stomach and rest my eyes. Suddenly, the phone rings and I roll off the couch. I hit my head on the coffee table and silently curse.  
  
"Hello?!" I bark into the phone.  
  
"Rory?" I inwardly slap myself it was Jess.  
  
"Uh, sorry Jess, you just woke me up and I rolled off the couch and hit my head on the table."  
  
He chuckled- chuckled at my stupidity! "That's okay."  
  
I sigh as I sit up with the cordless phone against my ear.  
  
"So what's up?" I ask, fumbling with the pages of the book.  
  
"I was just wondering if you'd like to have dinner with me? Say tomorrow night? I know it's late notice, but I just wanted to know if you'd like to go."  
  
"I'd love to." I said, standing to do a victory dance around my living room.  
  
While doing my victory dance I stubbed my toe on that damn table!  
  
"Ouch!" I screeched.  
  
"You okay?" he asked.  
  
"I just stubbed my toe!"  
  
He laughed, "Doing what?"  
  
"I- noth- I was doing.a victory dance."  
  
His small amounts of laughter busted into full throttle laughter.  
  
"You're mean!"  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I just never saw Rory Gilmore do a victory dance." I flinch at the sound of that name.  
  
I had discarded it ages ago, letting go of the memories that came with it.  
  
"Rory?" Jess asked, after the silence had introduced itself into the conversation.  
  
"Oh, sorry."  
  
I gave him my address and we both said our goodbyes.  
  
"So, tomorrow around 12, maybe 1, I'll call you."  
  
"Okay, 'till then."  
  
"Bye." And we both hung up.  
  
The wait was definitely worth it!  
  
OOOKAY, SO I UPDATED AND NOW IT'S YOUR TURN TO REVIEW! PLEASE REVIEW, I FEEL QUITE CONFIDENT WITH THIS CHAPTER, THERE WILL BE A WHOLE LOTTA JESS TO COME SO PLEAASSSEE REVIEW! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE AND THANK YOU!!! 


	7. Time Heals All Wounds, Right?

Disclaimer: In this chapter I own no one. whaaaaaa!!  
  
Tomorrow took forever to come, but it did. Today is the dinner with Jess and I'm nervous as hell. He had called and told me we were going out to Chez Es Saada on 42 East 1st Street, so I have to dress up. I don't know what to expect from tonight, but I hope it goes well. I think I'm going to tell Jess about my life NOW, as opposed to THEN. It'll be hard, but I think I should tell him.  
  
It's about mid- afternoon and I missed out on work today, purposely, just because it was Friday. As I lie in bed playing with the threads that dangle lightly at the ends of my sarong, I think about my life when I was younger. It seemed so simple and safe. The suns rays eloquently tickle my cheeks and flush them to a peachy tinted kind- of pink; like rosebuds on the edge- on the verge of blossoming.  
  
I feel bored and I have to wait for quite a while. I look at the clock to see what time I should get ready. It's only 1:12 p.m. I don't know why I'm so anxious, it's just Jess! And that's the thing, it's just Jess! The one man I haven't seen in forever and a day and I'm having dinner with him tonight! Time goes by so slowly and I can't help but feel antsy. Time can do so much to a person. I wonder how much I've changed. No I don't need to wonder, because I know; too much. I wonder if he's changed. He seems the same, but looks can be deceiving.  
  
I decide to take a nap and let my nerves calm down a little.  
  
By the time I finally wake up, it's about 4:56 p.m., just enough time for me to get ready for about 2 hours. I run in to take a bath, not a shower a bath, and I soak myself in bath bubbles and crystals in the soothing tepid water.  
  
I rinse off a little later and out comes a mist of peaches. I sniff my arm after I had lathered it with bubbles. It smells like the peachy scent has embedded its aromatic splendor in my skin. I wrap the towel tightly around myself and peer through my closet. I pick out a black dress with a deep v- neck cut. The dress goes to my knees and flatters my body, not to sound conceited but it's true. I pull out one and a half inched slippers with a diamond-studded buckle.  
  
It is now 6:57 p.m. and he's supposed to be here at 7. I wait patiently in the living room for him. Then the door knocks and he's friggin' right on time! Shesh!  
  
I compose myself and open the door. God he looks good! He looks about as nervous as I do. I smile politely and say, "Hey, you're on time."  
  
"Yea, I know, I should have given you some extra time, I'll just wait out"-  
  
"No, I'm ready," I say smiling even more.  
  
He extends his right hand and I take it. He guides me down to the elevators, but he doesn't know that they're broken. I think he took the back staircase to get up here.  
  
I turn to him and say, "The elevators are broken and we have to take the stairs."  
  
"Oh, okay."  
  
But I don't move, I continue saying, "Hold your breath for about 10 seconds while running at full speed down the stairs, don't touch the railings and if you see something lurking in the shadows, something small and furry, don't stop for it. Don't let in the air from inside the stairwell into your system or you'll be sick the whole night, you ready?"  
  
His eyes gape wide open, and his mouth hangs in amazement. "Ye- yea. I think.."  
  
I smile and take his hand as we run like there is no tomorrow down the stairwell. When we get out, he coughs for air. I slap his back and he thanks me with a heave of air.  
  
"What the hell was that thing in the corner? It was like feeding off of something!" said Jess, terrified to the point of insanity.  
  
Taking in large amounts of air, I respond with, "Oh Sammy? He's a- he's a (large breath) rat.."  
  
It is now his turn to slap my back and I thank him.  
  
"What a rush!" he said.  
  
"You're telling me, I had to do that for everyday this past week!"  
  
"That sucks, I don't think Kevorkian would approve of that!"  
  
"Well too bad for him!"  
  
And for the first time in forever, we laughed. We laughed hard and loud at something that wasn't as funny, but I think it was just the comfort of knowing that we had already started mending a broken relationship.  
  
He took my hand and led me to a forest green passat. He slipped into the drivers seat and I in the passengers. He turned on the radio and the song that was playing was Weezer's Buddy Holly.  
  
It was only the beginning so we still had time to make fools of ourselves and sing some of the lines.  
  
"Woo-hoo, but you know I'm yours, Woo-hoo, and I know you're mine, Woo-hoo, and that's for all time!!" I sang.  
  
"Ooo-ee-oo I look just like Buddy Holly, Oh-oh, and you're Mary Tyler Moore, I don't care what they say about us anyway, I don't care 'bout that!!" Sang Jess.  
  
We laughed again, just passing time.  
  
When we arrived at Chez Es Saada, he came out of the car fast, just to open my door.  
  
"Thank you Buddy Holly."  
  
"No problem Mary Tyler Moore."  
  
We smiled and walked to the front. After getting to our table I nearly fainted at the sight of the prices, they were outrageous! The cheapest things on the menu were the salad and the soup (A/N: I don't really know, so do penalize me for this).  
  
He, however, was not awestricken by these absurd prices. I took in a slick icy breath of air and he noticed.  
  
"Don't worry, it's on me," he said.  
  
My eyes went wide. How the hell does he expect to pay for this stuff?!  
  
The waiter came to our table and Jess ordered the steak (A/N: I really don't know if they have this or not..)  
  
I ordered the same and then the silence began. I tucked loose ends of hair behind my ear. I think I should tell him now while it hasn't eaten the rest of my insides. It's better late than never.  
  
"Jess?" I say, barely above a whisper.  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"I need to tell you something..." the look on his face was telling me that he looked completely worried. His eyes begged me to continue. "I... I had changed my name.."  
  
"Oh? How come?"  
  
"Well, I didn't want to be part of Rory Gilmore anymore.. on my last days of college, I had cut off contact with my mom and Stars Hollow... I was having a hard time finding a job and was sort of mixed in with these people that always went out at night.. I finished college, but barely made it and still didn't have a job... I was still hanging out with those people though and they took my all over, we stayed up all night in one of their houses and we partied, so to speak... We drunk all kinds of things, from Vodka to Bloody Mary's, to Blue Hawaii's... I had to stop myself from doing that, at least hanging out with them and going out every night... I soon found a job at a magazine company, Desiree, but I still drunk and I couldn't stop... Only up until now, did I stop..but when I changed my name, I changed everything.. I was and am no longer Rory Gilmore..."  
  
He just sat there, taking it all in blow for blow, breath for breath. It was horrific just seeing him like this. He sat there so silent, not even moving for crying out loud!  
  
"Jess?...."  
  
He took in a deep breath and said, "Okay.."  
  
That's it?! Okay! I just gave a life speech just now and all he says is okay?! I'm a little lost!!  
  
"I don't think I can be the same, if you aren't Rory Gilmore."  
  
I stood up and shouted, "Well I can't go back!"  
  
"Rory, yes you can.. just let me help you!"  
  
"I don't need your help, I- I can do it on my own!"  
  
"Rory look at you, no you can't! Please, if you care about me at all, just let me help you!"  
  
I blinked my eyes and out came salty drops of despicable hate. I covered my face because I didn't want people to see me. He stood up and wrapped his arms around me.  
  
"Come on, let's go..."  
  
He guided me out. The car ride was silent and deathly. I sat there so still, just gazing out the window. When we came to my building I had already fallen asleep, but he didn't want to rush me up the smelly stairs sleeping, so he took me to his apartment.  
  
I stirred lightly in my slumber. He carried me to his apartment and laid me on the couch. I curled up like a leaf when it falls from a tree.  
  
He softly strokes my cheek and watches me sleep.  
  
I am now completely asleep and am no longer able to see what is going on.  
  
(Out of Rory's perspective. shock I know, but hey, I had to do it sometime)  
  
Jess sits in a chair near the couch and watches Rory sleep. His Rory, the Rory he knew when they were younger. The Rory that would always tell him that he could be somebody and make a difference in the world. Now it would be the other way around, he needs to help Rory see the old Rory, not some person she made up.  
  
Jess had not stopped loving her. It was too hard to do so. He loved her from the very day he laid eyes on her, and it was a highly known fact, but scarcely referred to in Jess's mind. Jess watches her sleep and she looks so far away, so far that he can't reach her and this hurts. Jess will just have to bear through this for her sake above all. She is what is most important to him and she will always be, no matter what. Time heals all wounds, right?  
  
OMIGOSH, THANK YOU GUYS SOOOOO VERY MUCH FOR REVIEWING, WHEN I SAW ALL THOSE REVIEWS IN MY INBOX I WAS TOTALLY OVERJOYED!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME THAT YOU GUYS ARE ACTUALLY READING THIS- THAT IT'S WORTH READING. THANKS A LOT! OOK, SO HERE WE GO AGAIN, AHEM AHEM, REVIEWING MAKES ME HAPPY, SO PLEASE REVIEW!!! PLEASE AND THANK YOU! 


	8. You've Got More Than This World Has to O...

Disclaimer: I own Ms. McKee and Ms. Sanders....  
  
Waking up to the scent of coffee swimming carelessly through the air, I seem to have forgotten where exactly I am. Not recognizing the surroundings I screech and roll off the couch.  
  
As I lay on the floor rubbing my head, I realize that I am definitely not at home, at least my home.  
  
There he is! Jess runs to my side and I can see his mouth moving, but I can't make out the words. I shake my head from side to side and as I do so, his eyebrows furrowed. I point to my eyes and shake my hands.  
  
He runs to the table by the door where the phone is and grabs a pen and paper. He writes 'can you hear me?' on the paper.  
  
"Rory?" he says.  
  
"I can now," I respond.  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"I don't know...."  
  
He nods his head in understanding and pulls me up. I look around the nicely furnished apartment and take it upon myself to walk around and explore.  
  
I walk into his bedroom and stop shortly in the doorway. There are books everywhere! The cases that hold the books are all full and books are stacked on top of the cases themselves.  
  
His bedroom is quite spacious and his bed looks big enough for two; this suddenly strikes me with jealousy. To me, it means that he's probably had girlfriends and brought them here, to this bed. I close my eyes and let go of the tears I had held back.  
  
He is standing a bit further behind me as I walk around the room. I can no longer take it and want to leave immediately, but I can't. I can't go, I need him and in someway, he needs me.  
  
I quickly wipe the tears away as I walk back into the living room. He trails behind me and I speak before he gets the chance to.  
  
"It was really nice of you to let me sleep here last night, but I should get going.."  
  
He opens his mouth to protest but instantly closes it as he nods. I grab my purse and walk out of his apartment. I hear the door shut as I already reach the elevator. What happens next?  
  
Before I enter the elevator, his door opens as he runs down to me.  
  
"Don't go..." He quietly says.  
  
I blink away the pain and turn my head as the elevator doors close.  
  
Jess bows his head in sadness and retreats back to his apartment.  
  
I walk out of the elevators, out of the apartment building and into the cold and icy world. It's late January and I hug my arms around myself as I walk home. I think I know where I'm going, but part of me wishes that I could just get lost, right now.  
  
No, I know where I'm going. The cold weather is too much for me, so I run home.  
  
As I run, something catches my eye, in an ally-way, the words: 'There must be someway out of here, it's too much confusion, I can't get any relief' are written. I repeat the sentence in my head as it dawns on me. This sentence, as true as it is, is part of a Bob Dylan song.  
  
I finally reach my apartment building and walk down the halls. Ms. McKee pokes her head out of her apartment.  
  
"Janey, darling, you look terrible! Go get some sleep!!"  
  
"Thanks Ms. McKee.." I say less than enthusiastically.  
  
She shakes her head in disapproval and goes back into her apartment.  
  
Good grief!! Ms. Sanders is crawling on the floor in hopes of finding something! When will this nightmare end?! I walk around her, hopping she won't stop me.  
  
"Oh Janey," she says, still crawling on the ground, "Go get some sleep!"  
  
I just walk past her and into my own apartment.  
  
I run to my room and cry. I cry like I haven't let out all this repressed angry and anguish. Too many times have I cried. I feel like I can't do anything, my life is a complete waste and I want to just stay here in bed for forever.  
  
For the first time in ages, I want my mommy. I miss her so much! She was the only one who made me feel better.  
  
I refrain from doing anything stupid and just lay in bed. The phone rings, but I do not answer it. The answering machine goes off, as a sign of someone leaving a message.  
  
Only, no one leaves a message. It is silent and I cease my cries, and then the phone goes dead. I heave out a ball of cries as I just lay in bed, all curled up. The phone rings again, but I do not pick it up. I just let it sit there.  
  
The answering machine makes that beep and this is the part where someone leaves a message. There is silence for a few seconds 'till someone says, "You've got more than this world has to offer..'  
  
It was Jess! I wipe my tears away and run to the phone, but by the time I pick it up, the line goes dead. I slam the receiver back into its holder and fall to the floor. I repeat the words he has said out loud, "you've got more than this world has to offer.."  
  
I repeat it again, "I've got more than this world has to offer.."  
  
My tears have stained my eyes red and my cheeks are flushed to a deep crimson.  
  
I've got more than this world has to offer.  
  
I FINALLY GOT THIS CHAPTER UP... REVIEW!! O AND BY THE WAY, WHEN I SAID THAT LAST PART, THE: YOU'VE GOT MORE THAN THIS WORLD HAS TO OFFER, IT'S A SWITCHFOOT SONG (MEANT TO LIVE) ONLY I CHANGED THE WORDS, KINDA. IT'S REALLY SUPPOSE TO BE: WE WANT MORE THAN THIS WORLD GOT TO OFFER, SO I'M NOT THAT OFF, BUT I JUST WANTED IT THE OTHER WAY, INSTEAD OF WE WANT, I MADE IT: YOU'VE GOT. SO YEA, REVIEW! PLEASE AND THANK YOU!! 


	9. He Likes Me For Me

Disclaimer: I own Ms. Sanders  
  
It has been days since I slept over at Jess's house and left the next day to find myself crying in my bed. It has been days since he left that message on my answering machine and left me thinking in my own puddle of misery. It has been days since I thought I knew who I was, but had been so wrong.  
  
I'm still lying in bed; I have been for the longest time. I skipped work for about 3 days now and I don't know when I'll go back. I haven't eaten much, just bread. Yes it's strange, but the bread I have eaten has comforted my thoughts more than I have.  
  
The covers are pulled up to my chin and only my head peeps out of my sheets as I watch the rain fall heavily outside. Just the sound of the tiny droplets of water splashing angrily on the ground is so comforting and so peaceful, that I cannot tare my eyes away from it.  
  
The phone sits next to me, off its cradle; incase someone calls. It just lies there on my bed and I want so badly to pick it up and call my mom, but what would I say?! What can I say? 'Hey remember me? I was the one who had stopped calling you, who had most likely broke your heart and ran over it one time too many! How are you since then?' Sorry, I don't think so!  
  
But, what if... What if I called her, told her I was sorry... What would happen then? Would I go back to the girl I was when I was younger? There are too many thoughts racing through my head.  
  
I pick up the phone, just to look at it... I press the talk button and dial a memorable number. Two rings.. five rings... Answering machine... "Nn- yellow! I'm obviously not here and I most likely lost the phone (nervous laugh) but if I think I know where it is, just hang on for about a minute or two.. and if one and a half minutes has passed, forget it and leave a message! Or just hang up, but if your name is Emily Gilmore, then we have moved...good- day.... I said good- day! Ahaha that F.E.Z. cracks me up! BEEP!!..."  
  
"... H- hi... (Sigh) you're probably not even there, but.... (Deep breath) I'm.. sorry...."  
  
(Out of Rory's perspective for the next two lines)  
  
"Hello?!" said Lorelai.  
  
But it was too late, Rory put the phone down.  
  
(Out of Rory's perspective)  
  
With a loud thud, the phone was thrown against the wall, never to be looked at again.  
  
The battery and buttons popped out and the phone was no longer accessible.  
  
(Knock, knock, knock)  
  
Glancing up from my bed, the door- someone's at the door!  
  
I wonder who it is. I wrap the comforter around me and walk to the door in my fuzzy bunny slippers.  
  
I look through the peep whole on the door and sigh as I say, "Go away!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Well I'm not commin' out!"  
  
"Oh yes you are, even if I have to bang the door down!"  
  
"You wouldn't!"  
  
"Oh I can, and I will!!"  
  
"No!!!"  
  
"Make way!"  
  
"Don't you even think about banging down my door!" I say as I swing it open. "Why are you here!" I say, on the verge of crying.  
  
"Because.." he says, his voice rolling over to a softer tone. "Rory- or whatever you're called now, you can't stay in here for forever!"  
  
"(Sniff) watch me!..."  
  
"You're breaking my heart you know..."  
  
Oh crap! Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry!! It's too damn late!! How dare he! How dare he!!! For the billionth time, I break down and slouch to the ground and huddle to myself and cry.  
  
I've cried too many times and I have to be strong, stop crying!! Just stop! But I can't, and he knows that, so he crouches before me and holds me. He holds me like he'll never let me go, and for a while, I feel so incredibly safe and I hold him in return.  
  
Jess carries me over to my bed and lays my there. He covers me with the comforter and sits in the chair by the window. I fall asleep and the last thing I see is him watching me and smiling. And I know that in his smile is everything, and I feel safe.  
  
(Again it is out of Rory's perspective, but just for a moment)  
  
Jess sits in the chair by the window, until he is sure that she is asleep. He glances around her room and notices a half eaten loaf of bread and raises his eyebrows.  
  
There are tissues spread carelessly around the bed to he takes it upon himself to clean up the house. Walking into the kitchen, he opens the refrigerator and finds that it is completely empty. The only things that inhabit the cooler are a bottle of a quarter filled Glenlivet, 12 years old, and in the freezer and half eaten gallon of mint chocolate chip ice cream. He shook his head, as he felt so bad for her.  
  
He wanted to go to the grocery store to get her some food, but he didn't want to leave her alone. He wandered down the hallways in hopes of finding someone to do the errand for him.  
  
He literally ran into Ms. Sanders.  
  
"Are you okay?!" Jess asked as he helped the elderly woman up.  
  
"I'm fine, but you should watch where you're walking.."  
  
"Yea, I will... Umm, could you help me?"  
  
"Sure, what can I do for ya?"  
  
"Well, I'm suppose to watch Rory Gilmore, but could you go and get me these things..." Jess said as he handed her the list of groceries and money.  
  
Ms. Sanders looked over the list, then back up at Jess.  
  
"How do you know Rory?"  
  
"She's a friend of mine."  
  
She nodded and said, "Sure."  
  
"Great, just umm, bring em' over to her apartment and I'll take them in..."  
  
She nodded.  
  
"Thanks again.." He shouted as she walked to the now fixed elevators.  
  
He went back into Rory apartment and seated himself at the chair by the window. In no time, Ms. Sanders came back to Rory's apartment, with the groceries.  
  
"Thank you, really!"  
  
"Anything for Rory."  
  
"Keep the change!" Jess said as he went back into the apartment.  
  
It was about 15 dollars left in change and old Ms. Sanders bounced down the hallways like she we 30 years old.  
  
Jess unpacked the groceries and placed them in the refrigerator. Rory woke to a strong scent. She got up out of bed and went into the kitchen. Jess was stirring something in a pot.  
  
She sniffed the air and said, "What is that? It smells good."  
  
He turned around and smiled. "It's just soup.."  
  
"Well it smells pretty good for just soup."  
  
He smiled and turned back to continue stirring.  
  
"Need any help?" she asked.  
  
"Nope, you can just wait in the living room.."  
  
"Okay."  
  
Rory went to the living room and sat on the floor in front of the patio glass door. It was still raining, only it rained harder. All the drops ran down in the same direction and this fascinated Rory very much.  
  
"It's ready!" called Jess and Rory got up and walked to the dinning room where Jess placed the bowl of soup before her.  
  
There was an unbearable silence between the slurps. Rory decided to break it.  
  
"I called my mom today..." she said softly.  
  
Jess's head shot up as he said, "And what did you say?"  
  
"(Sigh) I left a message, I told her I was sorry.."  
  
"Well, it's better than nothing...."  
  
Rory nodded.  
  
"Thanks Jess... For everything, you've been so incredibly patient and just so willing to help, thank you!" Rory said as she got up from her chair to give Jess a peck on the cheek.  
  
He was a little shocked so he didn't do anything. She stood there hovering over him and he just stared back. Jess stood so that he didn't have to look up at her. They were both eye to eye and held each other's gaze.  
  
"I- I should go..." Jess said, taking a few steps back, but Rory took those few steps foreword and said,  
  
"No, stay.."  
  
She held onto his wrist as he looked back at her.  
  
How could he say no?  
  
"Sure." he said as he sat back down.  
  
"I'm really tired, I think I'll go to bed now.. umm do you want my bed? I can take the"-  
  
"No, no that's okay, you can have your bed, I'll take the couch, I don't mind."  
  
She nodded as she retreated back to her bedroom, but before she entered, she turned and said, "Good night Jess.."  
  
"Good night Rory.."  
  
And she smiled. That was the first time that he had genuinely seen her smile and he was overjoyed that he helped her to that stage where she feels like she can grasp her life now.  
  
He's happy that she's learning to be herself again.  
  
Rory lay in bed think, 'He likes me for me'... and fell off to sleep.  
  
THIS WAS A FUN CHAPTER TO WRITE FOR SOME REASON.. I MEAN ALL OF THEM ARE FUN TO WRITE, BUT I JUST HAD SO MUCH CONCENTRATION ON THIS ONE...DUNNO..NEXT CHAPTER IS WHEN JESS CONVINCES RORY TO GO BACK TO STARS HOLLOW... NEW SURPRIZES AND A WHOLE LOT MORE... REVIEW!!!!!! PLEASE AND THANK YOU!!!! 


	10. MY Gram Crackers!

Disclaimer: Don't own anyone in this chapter.  
  
I think it's morning now; I can tell by the surging amounts of sunlight threateningly pressing against the closed shades. I turned over in bed just fixating my eyes on the ceiling. I take in a deep breath, one so deep that I most likely extracted the very fiber- the very being of the morning scent.  
  
It's the kind of scent that smells so clean and just so fresh that it makes you want to pull the covers way over your head and huddle closely in a ball in the center of the bed, with the sheets falling over you. It's the kind of scent that makes it smell even better with coffee in your hand.  
  
I don't want to move- I don't want to get up, but I have to. I roll over in bed and pull myself to a sitting position. My head hangs low as my arms balance body strait. When I stand, my back cracks and I stretch. A yawn escapes my throat and I drag myself out of my room.  
  
When I enter the living room, I do not look up, but I remember that Jess stayed over last night so I just start talking, assuming he's awake.  
  
"So I had the strangest dream last night, I dreamt that you and Luke were in my room sitting on the floor, eating my gram crackers!" I chuckled at the stupid thought and to my surprise did I find that he WAS eating my stinkin' gram crackers, maybe not in my room but definitely on the floor and of course he's not alone! All the shock had stung me so fast- so quickly that it was at that rapid speed that I fell to the floor. The last thing I remember was, 'hello floor, why are you close to me'- then BAM, I hit it hard.  
  
So I'm lying on the floor, unconscious for a moment, but all the same, thinking. Now the person I saw sitting on the floor eating MY gram crackers was not, in fact, Luke. Now this can be one hell of a joke from God- and a terrible one for that matter, but the person I saw sitting on my floor eating my gram crackers appeared to be my mom.  
  
Then next thing I know is I'm being shaken conscious. Jess had held me up, but the second I opened my eyes I saw that he had a gram cracker in his mouth. So I yanked it out and said in the most dreariest voice ever, "Mine...." and with that, I ate it; in all its 'soggy, been in Jess's mouth' glory and I liked it! When I looked back at him he had the most disgusted look ever and I smiled at him for causing such distress.  
  
He helps me up and I now seem to be face to face with my mom. I am at a loss of words; I have absolutely no idea in what the hell I'm going to say! I keep silent as Jess's hand firmly presses against my back for support.  
  
"I... Hi.." I say in the quietest voice ever.  
  
She takes in a deep breath and lunges toward me and hugs me tightly. "Hi to you too!"  
  
I can feel her tears being embedded into my pajamas. I can feel her pain driving under my skin.  
  
After the initial shock, I hug her back. Jess takes a few steps away, but stands close enough so he knows what's going on.  
  
My mom sniffs lightly and holds me back, "I thought I had lost my best friend.." and she crashes into tears again.  
  
"I miss you!!" I say, I between tears. "I never want to hurt you again, EVER!"  
  
"I'm gonna hold you to that!" my mom responds, grasping me even tighter.  
  
We both took in a deep breath and stood back, taking in all the changes we had endured over the years we haven't seen each other.  
  
"You grew out your hair again!" my mom says.  
  
"You cut yours!"  
  
"Wow, it's like opposites, when you were just starting college your hair was this short, now it's vice versa!"  
  
"Yea! Did you shrink?" I ask.  
  
"Nope, no heels.." She said, showing me her shoes. I nodded.  
  
She smiled sadly and said, "Everyone back home misses you..."  
  
I nodded nervously and said, "I miss them too..."  
  
"So come home! Just for however long you want! But please, we miss you!!"  
  
I looked at Jess who nodded and so I took in a deep breath and said, "Okay..."  
  
She leapt for joy as she danced around the living room.  
  
My mom walked into my room and started packing.  
  
In the midst of her frenzy, I said, "I... I want to tell you what had happened..."  
  
"I know you do, when you're ready.." she said and I smiled and helped her pack.  
  
She was grabbing a few more things while I had changed and went out to the living room to meet Jess. He was sitting on the couch eating my stinkin' gram crackers!  
  
I took the piece he was about to toss into his mouth and said, "Ahem! If I were allowed to, I'd print on every single cracker in that box, 'property of Rory Gilmore'!"  
  
"But you're not, so I can eat em'!" said Jess and so I snatched it and ate it.  
  
He gasped and said, "You did not just eat that!"  
  
I opened my mouth to show him the crumbs and his face was slapped with such revulsion that he looked like he wanted to puke.  
  
"Thank you Anna Nicole, but here in America we keep our mouths closed!" (A/N: that was kinda harsh..hehe whoops)  
  
I gasped and put my hands on my hips. Turning away from him, I heard laughter- laughter!!  
  
"Come on, I was joking.."  
  
"Well hardy har har!"  
  
"Fine," he said as he gave up.  
  
I turned to him and smiled as I lightly slapped his arm. "Are you coming?" I asked him quietly.  
  
"To Stars Hollow? Home of the strange and odd? I dunno...."  
  
I nodded and said, "Would you go if I asked you to?"  
  
"Only if you say the magic words.."  
  
I rolled my eyes and said everything and anything a man such as himself would love to hear. "Oh Jess, you are the greatest man in the entire world, no one can compare to your great knowledge. Your sarcastic comments and small time quips have livened up the universe. I always take your presence for granted."  
  
"Ya know, you do!"  
  
"Come!! Please?"  
  
"Sure," he said nodding.  
  
From there, we were bound for Stars Hollow; I was bound for my old memories. I hope life in Stars Hollow is a quirky as it was back then. Change never suited my personality. For it is change that brings fourth new beginnings, but covers old memories.  
  
REVIEW!! IT MAKES ME HAPPY WHEN YOU REVIEW!!!! PLEASE AND THANK YOU! 


	11. On Cloud 9 While they're serving Bubbly ...

Disclaimer: In this chapter, I own no one.  
  
My mom took her car and I took mine while Jess rode with me, to Stars Hollow. All of our things were packed and I called my work place and told my boss that I had a nervous breakdown and was going home to recuperate. We had just started down the road and the car ride became silent. I switched around from radio stations and found one that was to my liking.  
  
Singing along to the song, I belted, "You're such a delicate boy in the hysterical realm of an emotional landslide in physical terms.."  
  
"Garbage?" Jess asked.  
  
"Ahuh," I said as I took a turn onto the freeway.  
  
"Your baby blues would flash and suddenly a spell was cast..." I resumed with my singing.  
  
"You really like this song?" Jess asked as I continued singing.  
  
"Ahuh," I responded, keeping my eyes on the road.  
  
"Is that all you're gonna say to me, ahuh?"  
  
Thinking for a moment, I responded with, "Ahuh."  
  
Jess shook his head.  
  
"I'm trying to focus on the road.." I said, explaining to him why I couldn't say anything else.  
  
"So then why are you singing?"  
  
"You dare question my authority?"  
  
Jess looked thoughtful for a moment and replied with, "Ahuh."  
  
I smiled.  
  
The best part of the song came up and I was so ready to sing it, but right when I was about to, I heard the words of the song coming out of Jess's mouth; flowing like a river.  
  
"Go Baby go, go. We're right behind you go baby go, go. Yeah we're looking at you, go baby go, go. Aw we're right behind you, go baby go baby. Yeah right behind you go baby go baby.."  
  
Astonished, I looked at him with a side-ways glance.  
  
"You know the song?" I asked.  
  
"Of course! Who doesn't know 'Cherry Lips'?"  
  
"Apparently not you!.."  
  
"Damn straight!" He said with a satisfied grin.  
  
"C'mere so I can lick your face!"  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Never mind.."  
  
The person who was hosting the radio station said that the next song was David Bowie's 'Changes'.  
  
I got myself ready to sing and the out came, "Still don't know what I was waiting for and my time was running wild. A million dead-end streets and every time I thought I'd got it made. It seemed the taste was not so sweet..."  
  
"So I turned myself to face me, but I've never caught a glimpse, of how the others must see the faker I'm much too fast to take that test." Sang Jess.  
  
And at the exact same time, we both said, "Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes. Turn and face the strange Ch-ch-Changes.."  
  
"Don't want to be a richer man, Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes. Turn and face the strange  
  
Ch-ch-Changes.." sang Jess.  
  
"Just gonna have to be a different man. Time may change me, but I can't trace time.." I sang.  
  
The whole experience was just too funny that we burst out laughing. David Bowie continued to sing the song as I drove in a comfortably silence. Jess and both stole glances every now and then at each other.  
  
When we finally made it to the entrance of the town it was already a little after mid afternoon.  
  
We passed Luke's and I saw Jess's eyes follow the establishment as the scenery passed. Took a while but we made it to my childhood home. Everything looked the same and I liked it like that.  
  
We both got out and met with my mother who got out earlier and we waiting on the porch.  
  
"Coffee?" my mom asked.  
  
"Definitely!" I said.  
  
She smiled and hooked arms with me. We started walking when I noticed that Jess wasn't walking beside me. I turned around and saw him lagging behind, shoveling tiny rocks with the tip of his shoe.  
  
I waved for him to catch up, but he just waved it away so I just shrugged.  
  
We arrived at Luke's and I was kind of scared because they all haven't seen me in the longest time.  
  
We got into Luke's but no one was there! I turned around and not even Jess was with us! My mom and I both sat at the counter. She started tapping it loudly to attract Luke to the front of the restaurant.  
  
"Lorelai, I know that's you! Could ya stop being annoying just for one day?!" shouted Luke from the kitchen.  
  
He didn't even bother to look up, so he didn't see me. He was wiping a cup when he then turned around to fill it up with coffee.  
  
When he turned around to give it to my mom, his eyes went big, like a lost puppy trying to get someone to take him home. He dropped the cup and his mouth hung open as he said, "Rory?"  
  
I nodded.  
  
"Rory?"  
  
I nodded again.  
  
He took a few steps back, rubbed his eyes, turned around and rubbed his whole face. When he turned back towards me he said, "Rory?"  
  
Again, I nodded. I smiled at how consistent he was.  
  
He shook his head and said, "Well I'll be.."  
  
"A monkey's uncle!" screamed my mom.  
  
"Way to kill a moment Lorelai!" screeched Luke.  
  
"(Gasp) Luke had a moment?" My mom sarcastically asked.  
  
He just shook his head and went to grab me a cup of coffee. I started to wonder where Jess was. I turned around and didn't see him.  
  
My mom saw how I looked outside and said, "He's probably just trying to avoid this town altogether.."  
  
I nodded and glanced back at the door.  
  
"Go.." she said with a smile.  
  
"What?" I asked, sort of double taking on her one word statement.  
  
"Go.." she said with a shove of her hands.  
  
"But I just got here, and I'm spending time with you.."  
  
"We have plenty of time to do that.." she said as she put an arm around me.  
  
"Are you sure??" I asked, sort of surprised she'd let me go.  
  
"Yea, I don't mind. Go.."  
  
I stood up and got a to go cup of coffee. My mom hugged me before I left and I waved goodbye to Luke.  
  
(Out of Rory's perspective)  
  
"So who's the 'he'?" Luke asked.  
  
"Umm, believe it or not, Jess.."  
  
"Oh, wow.. Are they..."  
  
"I dunno... She never told me yet..." Lorelai said, smiling.  
  
She watched as her only daughter walked down to the bridge.  
  
(Back in Rory's perspective)  
  
I walked down to the bridge, because I knew that was the only place he liked in Stars Hollow, he told me himself.  
  
Walking on the worn platform, my feet pounding on the wood made a patterned beat. He looked up from his place and half smiled. She walked to the center of the bridge and seated herself. The silence encased their surroundings and soon became unbearable.  
  
"What're you doing here? I thought you'd be inside Luke's talking to your mom," he said.  
  
"I was, but then I wanted to see you..."  
  
He nodded.  
  
"How come you didn't follow in?"  
  
He shrugged, "Dunno, just didn't feel like it..."  
  
I nodded.  
  
"Jess, I want... I want to thank you.. for getting me here... I don't know if I would have done it with out your support." I said.  
  
His half smiled turned into a full smile. I turned, completely, to face him and I hugged him. When I pulled away I noticed I still had my arms around his neck. I peck his check lightly.  
  
His eyes dug my own. The looked fierce with hunger and want and such desire that could not be put out in words that he kissed me. After so many years, after all the things I went through and his help, he kissed me.  
  
When we pulled away, he smiled and I kissed him again.  
  
"C'mon, I bet your mom I aching to see you..." he said as he stood.  
  
We started walking back to the diner and I reached for his hand. We walked hand in hand to the diner, smiling like you wouldn't believe.  
  
I waited so long- too long, for salvation, redemption and now it's here. And all I can do is smile. I feel like I'm on cloud 9 and their serving bubbly water there. I feel like I can fly and swim the Pacific Ocean. I feel like I can be me again. And it feels great.  
  
OOKAY, IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN!! REVIEW!! WOO WOO!! REVIEW!! WOO WOO!! REVIEW!! PLEASE AND THANK YOU!! HEHE..SUGAR RUSH.. 


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